Promoting Promiscuity and the ‘Right’ Kind of Porn

Two articles found their way to my inbox (and attention) this week that both dealt with the area of sexualization among young men and women.  If you have any access to media (TV, internet, etc…) or simply walk the streets and venture into shopping malls, you’ll notice that vast array of marketing sexuality, with teens as the main target (both as consumers and advertising).  Market research has long ago figured out that sex and sensuality sell, and they know teenagers and younger adults are the bait and hook.

You can’t turn the TV on without watching some program or commercial that doesn’t feature some form of aggressive sensuality aimed to sell their product.  Whether it’s an Axe commercial with half-naked women caressing a shirtless guy, a beer commercial with ditsy ladies in skin-tight pool fashion, or pretty much any show or commercial with gratuitous cleavage, skin, or involving a ploy to party and have a promiscuously good time!  Even allowing my kids to watch YTV is getting riskier with some of the programming and advertising they allow.  So as a parent, I’m glad The Source 4YM launched these two articles within a couple of days of each other, and sought to arm parents and youth workers with some good knowledge and awareness ammo.

The first article, Promiscuous Programming Promotes Promiscuity: Sex Education Via CBS and MTV, details the plight of what programmers and marketers are throwing at our culture today, and how they are influencing a generation of young minds and eyes.  This post kind of fires back at the “it doesn’t really affect me” comment from teenagers when they’re confronted with the reality that what they watch and see can, and does, affect them.

on-screen promiscuity promotes promiscuity in real life.” (soon-to-be published study from Ross O’Hara in the Psychological Science Journal)

Here’s a couple of things Smith and McKee (from The Souce 4YM) noted in their article;
An Increase in Inappropriateness 70% of the shows depicting full nudity aired before 9pm this year (aka “family hour”), compared to 50% of last year’s program.  Bleeping and muting of the F-word increased from 11 instances in 2005 to 276 in 2010. That 2,409% increase in F-bombs!

Defending the Dirty- CBS President Nina Tassler took criticism for the comedies she admits are “a little risqué,” but ultimately defended them by saying, “The fact that there is such strong ratings growth for all of them means that those shows are resonating. It means that the characters are resonating. It means that their dialogue is really landing with audiences. The shows are laugh-out-loud funny.” 

The Results of Risque TV- According to Pediatrics’ 2010 research:“Seventy percent of teen shows contain sexual content, Strasburger added, “and less than 10% of that content involves what anyone would classify as being responsible content. There’s no mention of contracting an STD (sexually transmitted disease) or the need to wait to have sex until later.”

And as usual, instead of simply announcing sour news, they leave parents and youth workers with encouragement and practical suggestions in how we can address the issues.

The second article, The ‘Right’ Kind of Porn is from Jonathan McKee, who never shies away from tackling tough issues, especially when it involves sex and sexuality!  His article was fueled by a piece in the Huffington Post which basically makes the claims that in today’s sexually charged culture, porn isn’t that bad as long as it’s the ‘right’ and appropriate kind of porn.  Really??  So now there’s the ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ kind of porn…and who exactly gets to define what’s appropriate and inappropriate porn?  As Jonathan encourages us to in his post, I also encourage you to read the entire article (linked above) so that Vivian Diller’s words aren’t taken out of context (author of Huffington Post article).

An interesting challenge facing parents, but one that made me wonder not only about the “right”versus ”wrong kind” of porn, but about how our young daughters fit into this discussion. How does the changing landscape of “what’s out there” influence the way young girls view their own maturing bodies? And, maybe even more worrisome, does it shape their perspective on what is arousing to others?  -Vivian Diller

I share McKee’s admonishment re: some of Diller’s thoughts in raising awareness of the pressure and false-perception the over-sexualized and sensualized culture is sending to young girls and women that is negatively affecting their self-image and value.  But just as Diller makes some positive overtures about the damage that the pornographic and sexual culture is having on young girls (and boys), she then endorses (at least inadvertently) a show like HBO’s Girls.  Like McKee, I don’t want to throw the baby out with the bathwater…but you’ve got to draw a line somewhere, and I think Diller not only crosses the line…she’s pretty much wiped it clear.

One of the most refreshing things about the HBO series Girls – while highly graphic and out there sexually — is that the male and female stars are not only far from perfect physically, they don’t even seem to care that much. Perhaps, from a certain perspective, writer and producer Lena Dunham is leading teens toward what might be called “politically correct porn,” a healthier, more realistic vision of sexuality that in the future may support, rather than undermine, their authentic sense of self.” -Vivian Diller

But I’ll let you read the article and you can decide for yourself what you feel is right, wrong, appropriate, inappropriate…and what is true in this realm of sexuality.  If you’re a parent of a teen, or you work alongside them, then you’d better at least know about shows like Girls.  We need to know what kind of messages they are sending to young viewers…potentially your sons and daughter, or young teens you work with and care deeply about…and how these shows are a major player in how they view their own sexuality and moral boundaries.

The Aurora Aftermath

It’s been almost 2 weeks since the tragic and senseless theater shooting in Aurora, CO claimed the lives of 12 innocent people looking for nothing more than taking in an action flick.  In our digital world where world news travels at warp speed, we hear about tragedy on average of 2x per day, it’s no wonder that, among other things, the onslaught of social media has played a role in de-sensitizing us to tragic news.  What was a front page world-news story 2 weeks ago, has become an after-thought in the minds of the many who were so shocked and emotional when the news broke.

I was thankful to receive the following post in my inbox this morning from Dare2Share’s Greg Stier, in which he helps bring some perspective, and reminders, about what we can learn and how we can respond as Christians in the aftermath of tragedy.  Fortunately the tragic events like the Aurora shooting are extremely rare, yet we have experience with tragedy (directly or indirectly) likely a few times a year (i.e. death of a loved one or the loved one of a friend/colleague, loss of job/home, serious injury, violence, etc…).  How we respond in the aftermath of tragedy, both for ourselves, and in the presence and care for others, is of utmost importance and significance.

I pray we all know and experience the peace and love of Christ that is available to anyone and everyone in the midst of sorrow, tragedy, loss, anxiety, and pain.  May we be carries of this message of love and truth wherever we go, whenever we have opportunity!

ORIGINAL  AUG. 2nd, POST FROM DARE2SHARE.ORG

af·ter·math

something that results or follows from an event, especially one of a disastrous or unfortunate nature; consequence: the aftermath of war; the aftermath of the flood.¹

Or what about…

The aftermath of a massacre?

Here we are as a nation, as a culture, and as individuals…trying to process an event that defies what most of us could even imagine in our darkest dreams.  A madman overtaken by the clutches of a murderous psychosis ends the lives of 12 individuals who were guilty of nothing other than seeking enjoyment from a much anticipated film.

First there is the shock and utter disbelief. How does this kind of thing happen?  Could it have been prevented somehow?

Then the insatiable craving for answers sets in.  What was the shooter like?  Who were the victims?  And of course, the relentless media coverage is there ad nauseum to plaster every minute detail of the tragedy in our face. Yet no amount of information will get at the answers we are all seeking.

Trust me, the complete solution to this puzzle won’t be revealed on this side of eternity.

But in light of that, how do we anchor ourselves in the aftermath of the Aurora massacre that left us adrift in a sea of anxiety, doubt, fear and questions about the presence of an all powerful and loving God?

May I suggest two thoughts on which to dwell as we all continue to wrestle with how to harmonize this unspeakable incident with our internal dissonance?

First, remember that our faith is expansive enough to engulf every fear and question imaginable.  In the Bible, the men and women who walked closest to God also carried some of the deepest doubt – especially the one described in Scripture as “a man after God’s own heart”:

Psalm 10:1 Why do You stand afar off, O LORD? Why do You hide in times of trouble?

Psalm 22:1 My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? Why are You so far from helping Me, And from the words of My groaning?

Psalm 44:23 Awake! Why do You sleep, O Lord? … 24 Why do You hide Your face, And forget our affliction and our oppression?

Psalm 74:1 O God, why have You cast us off forever? Why does Your anger smoke against the sheep of Your pasture? … 11 Why do You withdraw Your hand, even Your right hand?

Has your heart echoed the feelings of King David?  Good!  An eternal God is big enough to handle our uncertainties about this temporary existence.  But remember that God is not Google…you can’t just input an inquiry and expect a nicely wrapped godopedia type answer.  In fact, much of the healing comes simply from knowing we have the freedom to ask.  That’s why David answers his own questions about God with this response:

Lord, my heart is not proud;
my eyes are not haughty.
I don’t concern myself with matters too great
or too awesome for me to grasp.
Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself (Psalm 131:1-2).

At some point in our struggles with tragedy it is possible to cross a line.  God is in control even in the chaos.  He is sovereign but He is not a micromanager of human existence.  When you approach the line between pleading and pride, it is best to sit in silence and acknowledge that God is God-

and we are not…

Secondly, consider the fact that when great evil occurs, it should serve as a warning of the greatest calamity that will ever take place – spending an eternity in hell:

Now there were some present at that time who told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices.  Jesus answered, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way?  I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish” (Luke 13:1-3).

This tragedy in Jesus’ day was a result of a sociopath named Pilate, who murdered innocent Galileans while they were worshipping God. Basically, this was the cultural equivalent of a public shooting. When this calamity occurred, the crowds wanted answers – and God Himself was on the scene.

What is amazing, though, is that Jesus doesn’t even try to explain the causes or solutions to the calamities. He purposely avoids going into a social discourse about the disintegration of society, or the effect that the violence in the coliseum has on people. In fact, He doesn’t even launch into a sermon about free will and God allowing bad things to happen.

Instead, Jesus speaks to this situation with a reminder of ultimate destiny: “…unless you repent, you too will all perish.”

Does God Himself not know God’s answer on the subject?  Not at all. He simply had a completely different perspective on tragedy, which is one that we must consider, as well.

Jesus didn’t look back and try to piece together the causality of these events. Neither did He issue a current political statement regarding immediate actions to be taken by His Father. Instead, He looked forward in order to remind everyone about the ultimate question: what will happen to me and my friends when we die?

In the aftermath of the Aurora shootings, remember that there are and will be many complicated and puzzling aspects that cause us to question the foundations of our reality. Yet in the midst of all the tragedy, questions, and confusion, keep Christ’s perspective close at hand. We must:

Be very careful, then, how you live–not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil (Ephesians 5:15-16).

The days were evil then and they are still evil today…but take heart my friends! We’ve been given a great opportunity to share the light of the gospel in the midst of darkness.

So may THE Cause shine like a beacon in the shadowy days of 2012.

¹dictionary.com

Moving past a terrible event like the Aurora movie theater shootings takes time, and even then there can be a lingering sadness in our hearts.  But in the midst of this, let’s remember that the light shines brightest in the darkness, and it’s in times like these that many people are most open to hearing the gospel.

 

 

 Father, we know that You have experienced the loss of a child when Jesus died on the cross.  Help us be the life giving and hope restoring people to a world that struggles to make sense out of a tragedy such as this.  Please open doors for us to share the gospel as people process this tragic event.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

  Why is the World So Screwed Up? For more help with this topic, check out this previous Soul Fuel article about why God allows evil in our world.

Strippers, Messy Morality, and Magic Mike

Hollywood’s newest ‘Rom-Com‘, Magic Mike, is set to open at theaters across North America this Friday (June 29th), and you can be sure you’ll see a large crowd of women and teen girls standing in line opening weekend.  The movie stars Channing Tatum, Matthew McConaughey, Alex Pettyfer, Cody Horn and Joe Manganiello, and was created by directed Steven Soderbergh.  Magic Mike is based on real-life chronicles of Channing Tatum’s early years as a 19 year-old stripper in Florida, and take viewers on a backstage journey into the business side of the…ahh…business of male strippers.

Okay…so quick break here…this is not a plug for the movie, nor is this simply a ‘heads-up’ to parents that a movie like this is coming to a theater in your city/town.  No this is bigger than that.  This is about taking a look into the morality of our culture, or lack of it, and asking ourselves some point-blank questions.

As he usually is, Jonathan McKee was right on the cultural cue in addressing some pressing issues this movie raises. Because at first glance it seems like a feel-good movie (no pun intended!) with a cute story-line that exposes (again…no pun intended here…but it does have a zing!) the behind-the-scenes realm of the male stripping industry.  And it’s a pretty   dubious industry to say the least!

But what is a Christian to do about a film like Magic Mike?  Do we listen to reviews of the media world telling us it’s a cool date night flick with a compelling story to tell?  What kind of message is Soderbergh selling us in Magic Mike?  What does a movie like this say about morality, purity, character, and the value/self-worth of people?  I’m not suggesting you should go see this flick, but I am encouraging you (especially you parents out there) to know the cultural effects a movie like this can, and will, have on our youth.

There is a clear message being sent, and it’s one of individualism, narcissism, vanity and Hedonism…a pretty much anything goes philosophy for the greater good of the individual and their life pursuit.  Here’s a quick glance at McKee’s article…

Hollywood has always put an interesting spin on stripping. Movies like Strip Tease attempted to cast a compassionate understanding of the life of a stripper. Even the blockbusterIndependence Day featured a stripper in one of the supporting roles. Jasmine (Vivica Fox), the girlfriend of Captain Steven Hiller (Will Smith) survives the alien attack, rescues the first lady, and in getting to know each other, Jasmine proudly proclaims that she’s an exotic dancer. The first lady apologizes, embarrassed. “It’s OK,” Jasmine quickly retorts. “I’m not ashamed of what I do.” She rubs the head of her son. “Anything for my baby!”

So stripping is okay when you’re supporting a kid, right? Silly of all those pretty waitresses to be waiting tables when they could make so much more money on a pole! ”

You can read the rest of the article, The Messy Morality of Stripping here.  So…what do YOU do with a movie like Magic Mike?

The Epik Project: Putting An End to Teen Sex-Trafficking

The folks @ Epipheo have put together a pretty cool video that addresses an issue that needs to be talked about a whole lot more than it currently is, especially within the church.  In our digitally and instantly connected world, there’s a brutal fact going largely unnoticed, or even worse, ignored…that young girls age 11+ all over the world are being trafficked for sex.  Of all the talks and topics I’ve addressed over the years in youth ministry, I think I may have talked about the issue of the global sex trade maybe twice in 11+ years.  That’s gotta change!  Today’s youth, more than ever, have the power to make change happen…and their voices need to be heard!

Recent US stats indicate that 1 out of 4 girls have been sexually abused, which means a quarter of the girls in the average high school or local youth group may have had sexual experiences forced upon them for the very reasons outlined in this video.  The mission and vision at Epipheo is to “reveal truth in a way that changes people’s lives.” So if the truth that’s revealed in this video takes place, it could actually change the lives of thousands of teenage girls in our own cities and towns.

So hopefully you’ll consider sharing this video in order to help raise awareness for the Epik Project.  Together we can all play a part as we stand together against teen sex trafficking!  Perhaps this will ignite an Epik Canadian Project!

Altered States: Changing Views on Gay Marriage & Homosexuality

On May 8th, US president Barack Obama made quite a stir when he endorsed the rights of gay marriages in the United States, an issue he’s gone full circle on since his presidency began.

Within hours of president Obama’s declaration, hundreds of thousands of ‘voices’ were heard all across the US, Canada and Europe re: what they thought of his new position as leader of the most influential country in the world.  There were no shortage of view points coming in from the Christian circles…some thoughtful, tactful and precise…others lacking intelligence, dignity and any resemblance of love.

Several influential Christian leaders have also changed and/or altered their views on homosexuality and same-sex attraction over the past 5 years.  So what does the bible REALLY have to say about this subject?  I’d like to offer 2 (of course there are many others out there…but you’ll have to find them yourself!) resources I came across the past couple weeks that help bring some sound biblical perspective on the matter.

The first is from Got Questions?, which is a well-respected and theologically sound website for answers to life’s questions…from a Christian viewpoint.  I believe in the ministry of Got Questions? because I believe the only source for truth, purpose and meaning is found in the holy scriptures.  When many others are trying to figure out what the world experts think about life’s questions and issues, the bible stands true and endures the test of time in its credibility, reliability and authority.

The second resource is from a Sermon Central feature article by Tim Wilkins, in which he suggests some practical and effective ways the topic of homosexuality/same-sex attraction can be communicated from the church pulpit.  The reason I give much validation to what Wilkins has to say is because he’s not just coming from the angle of a pastor with a church agenda, but one who has lived through, and struggled with, the subject he addresses.

Here’s a quick glance at some of his thoughts on how the church can possibly better handle homosexuality from the pulpit…you can read the entire article here if you wish.

**I included a few of my thoughts at the end of each heading

Providing Heat vs. Light

We are tempted to be grandiose, forceful, and effusive when addressing homosexuality. Scottish preacher James Stuart Stewart wrote, “There is a type of preaching which apparently regards it as more important to generate heat than supply light.”  It is easier to denounce homosexuality from the pulpit with great fervor and vast sweeping gestures than to portray a loving God who separates our sin from us as far as the east is from the west.”

There’s too many times when we as Christians want to start an argument and prove a point, rather than a desire to make sure the light of Christ shines bright in our lives.  That doesn’t mean we condone and accept every attitude and action, but it does mean we should likely spend less time pointing our fingers, and more time pointing out Christ’s love for broken and sinful people…like all of us!

More of an Audience than You Might Know

You may ask, “Where must I go to gain an audience with the homosexual?”  The truth is you are presently preaching to homosexuals; they are among your visitors and, yes, your members.  Some constitute your choir, elders, and deacons. They are men and women, married and single, teenagers, and senior adults.  Overwhelmingly, they are inconspicuous.  But you should know they are there.  Though some are “satisfied” with their homosexuality; the vast majority are not.  This majority do not live a gay lifestyle.  They do not march in gay parades or fight for social “rights.”  They hurt!  They hurt deeply! They want freedom from same-sex attractions, and they want to hear a word from you that goes beyond condemnation.”

In other words, whether you’re a pastor, leader, or ‘garden-variety’ congregational pew sitter, you likely have more of an engaged audience sitting among you than you might know!

Before Addressing Homosexuality, Exegete Your Congregation

If you are unaware of anyone in your church dealing with homosexuality, you might ask yourself, “Why is that?” As you exegete your text, so must you exegete your congregation. “What besetting sins are they experiencing?”   I cannot begin to tell of the number of parents who hear our heated remarks on homosexuality and suffer silently with a son or daughter who is caught in homosexuality’s trap. One such mother told me that hearing her pastor’s imprudent remarks felt like being jabbed in the stomach with a butcher knife.  It would be very rare for a parent to disclose their pain to such a pastor.”

It’s not just the role of the pastor to help bring light and understanding to the church community, but we all can play a vital role by not only asking “What Would Jesus Do?”, but also knowing what Jesus did!

When Addressing Homosexuality, Examine Your Motivations And Goals

What motivates you to address these persons? (They are persons before they are homosexuals!)  What do you want to happen in the lives of these individuals? Remember, no one has ever been argued out of homosexuality or into the Kingdom of God.  Are you going to tell them they need to “convert” to heterosexuality? Are you going to recommend they date individuals of the opposite sex?  Many Christians peddle heterosexuality like it’s ‘another gospel.’ (See Galatians 1:6) Conversion is to Jesus Christ who, in turn, transforms us into His image. Jesus did not say “Go and make heterosexuals” but rather “Go and make disciples.” 

Joe Dallas writes, “Often people ask, ‘How do you witness to a gay?’”  The question itself shows a certain misunderstanding. Why should witnessing to gays be any different than witnessing to anyone else? Their homosexuality is not our main concern. The state of their souls is.”

There’s always the temptation to say what we want others to hear, rather than saying what Jesus and the bible actually said.  Our goal as Christians shouldn’t be motivated by an agenda to point out what we perceive as faults, but rather to love as Jesus loves and allow the Holy Spirit to be the One who brings revelation light and conviction to our hearts, minds and souls.

When Addressing Homosexuality, Expound The Whole Counsel Of God

If you do not know it yet, know it now that although this writer is ashamed of his past homosexuality, he is not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I personally did not experience freedom from homosexuality by reading and re-reading the account of Sodom and Gomorrah, Leviticus 18 and 20, Romans 1, or 1 Corinthians 6—classic passages which condemn homosexuality. Yes, they impressed upon me that this form of sexual activity is sin, but I was already certain of that.  Pounding those passages over and over in your preaching may provide a diagnosis, but they do not necessarily provide a prognosis nor a plan of action”

Expounding the whole counsel of God does not necessarily mean you must devote an entire message to homosexuality.  When Paul wrote 1 Corinthians, he listed homosexuality among other sins—idolatry, adultery, burglary, greediness, drunkenness, slanderers, and cheaters.  When addressing homosexuality, preach on the healthy same-sex relationships revealed in Scripture—David and Jonathan, Paul and Timothy, and Jesus and John the Beloved Apostle, to name a few.”

How often have you heard a pastor or Christian talk about homosexuality being the ultimate sin above and beyond anything else?  Yeah…me too…and I’ve unfortunately been on the ‘giving it’ end too.  Yes the bible does talk about the pursuit of any sinful being a bad deal (yes homosexuality is included in that list of sins, and sexual sin often carries more visible and deeper consequences), but the bible doesn’t focus on any particular sin…but calls attention to the fact we all have a sin problem to deal with.

Our Approach Demands Love, Respect, Care, Empathy, Humility, And Kindness

The first rule to evangelizing homosexuals is that you love them.  One of W.E. Sangster’s seven rules for personal evangelism is “Do not set out to make people good—love them.” Mohler states, “We must love homosexuals more than they love their homosexuality.”

The old adage rings true…no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care!  Nuff said on that!

After Addressing Homosexuality, Expect Resistance

Expect resistance from outside as well as inside the church, from both sides of the theological spectrum—those who believe homosexuality is immoral and those who believe homosexuality is biblical.  I realize pastors may fear the repercussions of addressing homosexuality, but remind yourself that you are a herald of the gospel; you have been called to “preach the Word,” and as someone has said, “You have been bought with a price and what you want to do with your life is irrelevant.”  Phillips Brooks wrote, “If you are easily swayed by men’s opinions, do anything but preach.”

The gospel truth exposes deception, lies and darkness…in fact John 8 says that the truth is what brings us true freedom, but often times the truth will make us flinch, before it sets us free.

I know I’ve done a few posts over the past year re: homosexuality, and unless there’s some related issue that can’t be ignored, I’ll probably give this topic a break for a bit.  It needs to be addressed within the church, as does all sin.  But there are also many Christians and those apart from Christ that are engaged in pornography, adultery, gossip, unethical practices, idolatry, and other equally crippling and destructive sins.  As well, there is much in the Christianity to celebrate re: God’s grace, mercy and characteristics that deserve equal attention.

We need to preach the whole gospel…that God created us to be in relationship with Him, but we blew it by sinning, so God sent His very own person and Son to represent Himself on earth, live among His people once again and call them to something greater, so He could then die on the cross and pay the price for our sins and restore us to right relationship with the Father.  And one day, He’s coming back to earth to restore things to the original design and will judge the living and dead and establish His throne and paradise here forever.

That’s some pretty good material to focus on too!